Gorgeous Forties

Surely I'm Too Young for the Big M?

Marion Ryan says:

Claire posted the other day about the menopause and though I still find this all a bit "nudge nudge wink wink", in our forties it's certainly a lot more relevant than it used to be.  And we're at an interesting age.  Some of us still getting pregnant, aligning ourselves with the younger generation, others getting menopausal and confronting our old(er) age.

I'm not an expert myself even though I think I'm three quarters of the way through it.  I was interested though to find the answer to Claire's question: surely I'm too young to be menopausal? 

Here's what I found out...

Has fashion gone mad?

Do you remember at school, going though the dictionary, looking up rude words?

The last time I did that was actually not that long ago. The word in question was 'merkin' which I learnt was a pubic wig. Of course, this beggars the question, "er... why?!" Anyway, thought you might be interested to know what showed up on the catwalk this season... what do you think? Has fashion gone mad?!

The M Word

I imagine that most other Gorgeous Forties have had at least one child. I haven't. Of course, there's still time... ish. Whereas when I was younger I used to cry when I got my period each month, these days, I thank the Universe.

My cycle has always been pretty erratic - two periods a month, so a 14 day cycle for a good many years.  But I've been on a fairly consistent 28 day cycle for the last 10 years or so.  Then about 3 or 4 months ago, it started to change to 26, then 24,  23 - I have to say I did start to panic mildly. I reframed it as 'more opportunities to get pregnant' but given that we only have an infinite number of eggs, I wasn't really convinced.   But this month - it's back up to 26 days.  Naturally, I'm hoping that next month will see it back to 28.  It's exactly 7 days to my 40th birthday so it would be pretty young for the menopause to be starting... wouldn't it?

I apologise if the M word is too sensitive a subject to be blogging about, but surely I can't be the only blogger here at Gorgeous Forties to be preoccupied by my menstrual cycle?

Everyone Hurts These Days

Being a victim is the thing to be these days. It's the place where you can complain about being "hurt" (like the Garda Commissioner on publication of a report that lambasted them for corruption, incompetence and general mismanagement...PLLLEASSE!).

It's the place where you get lots of sympathy for what you have suffered, where you are not encouraged to move on and transform what you have learned for the benefit of others. It's the place where you are encouraged to tell your story over and over and wallow in your suffering.

I think acknowledging our misery and pain is important, but then we need to take responsibility, stop looking for someone to blame and MOVE ON. Let's face it, most of us have people in our lives who seem to be constantly in victim mode...no matter where they go or what they do. If it was raining gold, they'd complain they got bruised by a big nugget.

Spoilers

Jane Tilton says:

Spoilers are those who use dinner parties as cheap therapy sessions.  This tale was first told to me last week in a 'breakfast meeting' with one of my best friends.  This is actually tea and bacon sarnies in the local cafe, a great chance to chat up and entertain all the builders who are in for their breakfasts.

Girlfriends

Passed to me by my friend, Aly, and with no author's name intact so I'm afraid I can't acknowledge her.

Time passes
Life happens
Distance separates
Children grow up
Jobs come and go
Love waxes and wanes
Men don’t call when they say they will
Hearts break
Parents die
Colleagues forget favours
Careers end

BUT

Girlfriends are there
No matter how much time
And how many miles
Are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away
Than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and
You have to walk it by yourself
Your girlfriends will be on the valley’ rim
Cheering you on
Praying for you, pulling for you
Intervening on your behalf
And waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.
Sometimes they will even break the rules and walk beside you
Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law
Mother, mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended family

Bless our life

The world would not be the same without them, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood we had no idea of the
Incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.
Nor did we know how much we would need each other

Or that every day we need each other still.

Be who you are and say what you feel
Because those who mind don’t matter
And those who matter, don’t mind.

What Price a Good Friend?

Chatting with Marion earlier, as is my wont, with her chastisting me for not blogging, as is her wont, I was telling her the story of my friends D & J who moved house this week.   As an experienced mover of many, many times all my life, moving house for me is - relatively speaking - a piece of cake, which just happens to be also what I am eating as I write this little story for you.

And knowing me as they do, D & J relied on me for lots of tips and advice throughout the whole process.

My Guilty Friday Pleasure

Every Friday I have a little routine. I go to the local shop and purchase a copy of the Irish Times (for the jobs, you know) and Now. For those of you not familiar with Now, it's a celebrity gossip magazine full of interesting information about how much Victoria Beckham really weighs (7 stone apparently - about a bag of spuds), who is lurving who in Big Brother (just about everyone) and how to dress like a soap star.

My brother in law has read through this and commented on how nasty women are to each other and how trivial the information is. I then point out thoughtfully that at least this is about PEOPLE. Men think that sports are serious and that's just a GAME.

Apparently, it's serious to spend hours discussing whether or not it was worth paying X millions for some twit to move to another football club but NOT serious to find out if Kate and Pete are on or off. I mean, really? And of course the biting, kicking, gouging and general assaults on a playing pitch are NOT cruelty?

Dublin Revisited

Wow, just had a weekend in Dublin, staying at the Clarence.  Obviously not something I would have done in my twenties, and only doing in my forties because of a very special deal, I mean do you really want to pay over £200 a night to stay in a place where your toothpaste spit doesn't run down the basin? 

Still it was very nice.  Didn't meet any Irish people (no, these two sentences are not connected before you complain).  All the restaurant staff, shopkeepers even the woman who tells you how to crash in the aeroplane were all from Eastern Europe.  Where are all the Irish?  The hen parties (which I must admit to being very afraid of, but not half as scared as the husband was) were all from the North of England. 

It makes for a very surreal experience.  The pubs are all smoke free - which is wonderful, but there are so many people smoking on the street you are in danger of having your eye put out by a stray fag.  Still the streets are wonderfully clean because of the mobile ashtrays that clean up.

I've decided two things about travel in my forties.  Firstly I like long weekends away Friday to Sunday is just fine.  Secondly, I really don't enjoy arriving home (or anywhere) late.  I would so much rather arrive fresh in the morning. I find that coming home late really depresses me.  So from now on all my weekend breaks will have to finish on Monday (or Tuesday) morning.

A Chunk of Chocolate

Lorraine, one of my coaching clients, mentioned at the weekend that she was doing some decluttering, for which she would reward herself with some chocolate.  I casually asked her what sort of chocolate she liked and this was her response.  I'm reproducing parts of it - with her full consent - because I love to hear her passion and dedication to the subject, which incidentally she brings to every area of her life - her work, her horse racing and Elvis too!

"What a great subject for a chat! I love anything with milk chocolate in or on it! I am definitely a Cadburys girl...I love their purple wrapping...in fact whenever I see that colour I just think chocolate!